A Suitable Match
I am sure each one of us at some point or the other has been a part of or a witness to the rather cliched conversations called “how to find the right guy?” (or even more cliched “is being single better than being married?”).
I’d like to put one thing on record before I continue to ramble – I’m happily married to a South Indian geek who loves to write code all day long.
So, getting back to our story – each time I would got caught in this endless warp of “how to figure the right guy?”, I would fall back on the pearls of wisdom uttered by my cousin when he was six years old and engraved into the family wisdom heirloom for posterity. More importantly it would provide much needed comic relief from the overloaded dialogues on “higher tangents to be considered” that these conversations had.
Sunil was a feisty young boy , sharp and quick witted with an adorable two year old sister, Subha. There was nothing unusual about the day – usual simmering Delhi summer. So perhaps it is best and most just to attribute the sudden revelation of this young boy to hidden maturity and knowledge in children that we choose to ignore as adults.
On this hot summery day, during one of those lovely imaginary games that children play, Subha (loaded with all the enthusiasm to display her newly acquired language skills) asked Sunil, “Anna, will you marry me? Then I can stay with you forever”.
Sunil, “No no Kuttas, you can’t marry your own brother. You should not marry any relatives”
Subha, “But then who will I marry?” (Sigh, who would have thought two year olds could have such complex worries )
Sunil, “You know you need to find someone who you think you like”
Subha, “So then I can marry my classmate who I like?”
Sunil, “No, No…You need to consider before you marry someone – his family, what does he do, is he a nice guy and does he have good habits. You should only marry someone who is fairly known to the family. Or we should get to know the guy well.”
And thus the guidelines for the women of Ranganthan family to refer to while finding that elusive “suitable match” were set by Thiru (tamil for Mr) Sunil Sampath on a hot day in Delhi whose date I forget.
1. Never marry family. Extend it to include people who even remotely resemble family.
2. Marry someone who you think you like.
3. Get to know the guy well before marriage – what does he do in life? what about his family? is he a nice person?
4. Check if the guy has good habits – for those uninitiated into the culture of tamil matrimony, when an ad reads “boy with clean habits”, it means drinking and smoking are a big no.
5. Family needs to get to know the guy and his family well.
Simple but from experience I know to be effective.